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I Love the Easter Bunny

April 8, 2009

While I was getting my hair done today (yes, it’s only been a few weeks…I am High Maintenance when it comes to my hair) we somehow got on the topic of the Easter Bunny.

 

“I’m contemplating just telling them,” I told Suzie and Mallory. “All of it. Santa, Tooth Fairy. I think it will simplify things. Cut out the whole cloak and dagger stuff. You know, they lose a tooth, they bring it to me and say, ‘okay, you owe me five.’” Suzie gave a sharp gasp.

 

“No, you are NOT!” she said. “Why?!” Suzie is a momma like me. She has a twelve year old, a six year old, and a six month old, if I’m remembering correctly. She’s the smart, savvy owner of Sage Tryall, has a wicked, wacky sense of humor, a sharp sense of fashion, and a deep love for her kids. From the look on her face, I could tell that it would be a cardinal, unforgivable sin to reveal the nonexistence of the Easter Bunny.

 

“Well, for a number of reasons,” I began. “There are several kids in Lawson’s kindergarten class that are telling him that there is no such thing as Santa, no such thing as the Tooth Fairy, and no such thing as the Easter Bunny. He keeps coming home and asking me about it, and trying to trip me up, and it’s wearing on me. And second, Autumn knows that there is no Tooth Fairy because she caught me in the act,” I had to stop and roll my eyes, pantomiming the tooth/money switcheroo that Autumn had awakened to catch me in the middle of because apparently I am just not sneaky enough for, “so I’m pretty sure that she suspects there is no Santa or Easter Bunny, either. She keeps dropping these not so veiled hints. ‘Mom, I would really like for the Easter Bunny to leave the new Miley Cyrus CD in my Easter basket. You know, Breakout?’ Yes, Autumn, I know. ‘And a bookmark. Kind of like that one you bought at Cracker Barrel last weekend when you thought I wasn’t looking?’ Ummm. Okay. Maybe that’ll be from me and not the Easter Bunny. ‘O-Kay.’”

 

“Well, I’ll tell you what I told my twelve-year old when she started making the same noises,” Suzie said matter-of-factly. “You don’t believe, you don’t receive. Simple as that. And we went through the same thing with other kids telling her that their parents were Santa, blah blah blah. We told her to say that she guessed so, that they’re so mean that Santa won’t come to their house anymore and their parents have to bring their stuff!”

 

That’s Suzie. You gotta love the spin she puts on things.

 

“I’ll tell you something really funny,” she went on. “We had all of our tax stuff strewn out all over the place and she found a receipt for some stuff we had bought her for Christmas and brought it to me. She was like, ‘ummm. Mom. I thought SANTA brought this to me?’ I said, ‘OH MY GOD! He must have dropped his receipt!’ She just stood there and looked at me, dangling that receipt accusingly from her fingertips…I could have strangled her. She said, ‘Mom, it’s for exactly the twelve CDS and two pair of socks that I got.’ I said, ‘well, I’m sure Santa just wanted us to have it in case we needed to make a return, honey!’ Again that look. She looked down at the receipt, back up at me. ‘Mom, it’s your card number.’ Oooooh. ‘Dear, if you don’t believe, you don’t receive! Remember, the Easter Bunny’s coming!’ She crumpled the receipt into a ball and tossed at me, grinning like a little fiend, and said, ‘oh, I believe! I just love that Easter Bunny with his cute little bushy tail!’ So we will believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy until we’re all senile around our house.”

 

Personally, I think Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny all exist. They just happen to go by the name of Lori in our house (and occasionally Duane). I kind of think they will always exist, even after my children have children of their own and picked up the torch for themselves. I would love to hear your comments. When did you, or your kids, stop believing, and how?

 

Or did you?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. hintonrae permalink*
    April 9, 2009 3:51 pm

    From an email comment:
    Dear Lori ~

    Ah, yes, you hit a universal nerve again. This one also carrying the onus of ethical concerns … as applied to both kids and parents.

    Sure, the Tooth Fairy is cute; Santa (a cattle prod used to keep kids behaving well from Thanksgiving ’til Christmas) is very useful; and the Easter Bunny … well, haven’t yet figured out the usefulness of a pagan relic whose sole function is causing the kiddies to have sugar rushes leading to obesity and/or diabetes.

    Mainly, the ethics of parents universally colluding to continue these three lies is disturbing. Does it occur to us as we do it that these lies may come back to bite us? Once a kid catches you in the act, as you so painfully described, an entire chunk of Trust has been torn out of the fabric that binds parent and child together. And since it’s a new lesson, the young evolving human seems to apply it across the board, suspecting Mommy of lying about, well, just about everything else.

    The kid also learns from the above, the handy lesson in how to “play” Mommy (and Daddy) “the way they played me.”

    Lying moves into your home for an extended stay.

    Example: Any 10 or 12-year old living in an advanced industrial society, such as ours, who still “believes” in any of these three imaginary friends is either suffering from a case of total denial, or is playing you for all your worth, just to keep all the cash and gifts comin’ in.

    Or, hold on a sec … maybe the kids think Mommy’s the dim one who won’t admit knowing that it’s all a case of the Emperor’s New Toys.

    Maybe they don’t want to break Mommy’s gullible little heart because they think she’s the one who still believes in all that malarkey.

    Whatever … bottom line is that everyone is lying to everyone else, a deception happily encouraged by retailers everywhere.

    Ah, yes, been there, done that, copious tears of lost innocence on both sides.

    My response:
    I haven’t really figured out the whole Easter Bunny thing, either. At least St. Nick was based on a real entity. Love your point about the Emperor’s New Toys…very true! The funny thing is…the cash and gifts wouldn’t stop with the knowledge gained. While certainly not the sole method of displaying our love for the kids, they’re a fun way of showing our love for them at these different times. Deep down, I think they know. I always did. I mean, really. Socks and underwear from Santa? C’mon. That has Mom written all over it.

  2. April 13, 2009 2:04 pm

    Sigh…. My boys are 27 and 24, my daughter 14. I was the staunch Overzealous Christian who was NEVER going to LIE (said with a satanic hiss) to my children. I let my boys know from the very beginning there was no such thing as Santa (who in my mind was satan spelled wrong) and the Easter Bunny, ToothFairy, all hog wash…. but ya know what?? After my Christian hormones calmed down, I realized I did such a disservice to my boys, who I loved so much. When my daughter was born (10 years after my youngest son) we all decided it’s best if she just ‘plays along’ with the fairy tale. How we explained it was that it was a game and it was FUN.

    I also remember hearing somewhere that in childhood all things are possible – the magic of childhood is so precious. I like your friend’s “if you don’t believe you don’t receive” way…. Our kids know it, but when THEY are grown, they will love us for our efforts.

    If you want to make it even more magical for your children, email me privately, I have something for you that I think you’ll enjoy for your children…

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