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Stinkin’ Brownie.

May 3, 2009
Umm, umm good.

Umm, umm good.

See Duane.

See Duane eat a brownie.

See Duane eat a brownie in which he discovered a stink bug part.

What you will not see is Lori eating any of the same brownies. Lori is laughing hysterically at Duane and his genuine confusion about why she will not eat these brownies. Let me repeat: Duane genuinely, authentically does not understand why I do not want to eat a brownie in which a stink bug has managed to insinuate itself.

I’m the one who should be confused, I think. I mean…I do understand that he might be just a teensy bit upset that I didn’t want to eat his brownies. It was soooo nice of him to make them for me, after all–he didn’t even want any brownies. They were all for me. And he went to town on them. Did all sorts of “extra” stuff to them guaranteed to make them taste a hundred times better than my brownies. Added butter, and nuts, and a pinch of salt, and greased the pan with butter instead of Pam…I was looking forward to these brownies kicking my own fairly exceptional brownies’ butts, to be perfectly honest with you.

Then Duane brought me a plate, and said, “oh, yeah, and I found the backside of a stink bug in this brownie. I gave you another one, though.” My hand, outstretched to take the plate, was swiftly retracted.

We don’t have a clue how the stink bug got into the brownie mix. It’s a bit of a mystery. We have a little problem with stink bugs here in Virginia. Apparently the federal government or something brought them over from Asia or somewhere to get rid of ladybugs or some such nonsense but now they’ve proliferated to the point of Nuisance With No Solution. Dodson can kill them, but not stop them from getting in the house, so unfortunately it’s not much of a problem solver.

At any rate, I really figured that after I had explained the whole vacuum cleaner/stink bug scenario, Duane would be just as grossed out as I was by the idea of eating them. You see, when I accidentally vacuum a stink bug up into the Dyson, the vacuum’s heat and motion contrive to explode the bug into juicy little fragments.  The juice…er…stinks. Quite ferociously. I explained very rationally that I was quite certain that the heat from the oven and the stirring of the mix, together, would no doubt have the same effect, and there was no way I could put a bite of those brownies in my mouth without barfing. Not unless I’m on Survivor and set to win the million.

Then I’ll chow down on some stinkin’ brownies.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 3, 2009 10:19 pm

    Mmmmm….sounds delicious!

    Actually, that sounds really gross. I had a student who, for his scouting badge, made cricket cookies. He brought me in a small bagful which I shared with any kid in my class who wanted them.

    I myself didn’t partake…

  2. hintonrae permalink*
    May 4, 2009 3:44 pm

    Jeez, what a task to complete for a badge! Very politic of you to offer those to your students but to decline, yourself.

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