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He Loves It; He Loves It Not

May 4, 2009

There was an article today on MSN that tickled me—“25 Things He Secretly Loves.” ( It chronicled such things as a woman who holds it together for super-sloppy dramas but weeps copious tears over Pixar’s Wall-E, another who does an “I have been fed” happy dance after her man cooks her a good meal, and yet another who stashes the pjs from the night before under her pillow for her husband to find when he makes the bed the next morning.


It made me smile, and wonder which of my quirks are secretly adored by Duane and which are despised with equal fervor.


Does the fact that I can, in a matter of minutes, become so deeply engrossed in a book as to completely disregard the world around me endear me to him or aggravate him? He does, after all, have to call my name around seven times and snap his fingers in my face before I register his presence.


In the same vein, I have to read every night before I can fall asleep, for at least fifteen to twenty minutes. If I don’t, I can pretty much count on lying awake and reinventing the day in my head, several many times. It’s a shut-off valve. (I’m pretty sure this isn’t precisely adored…)


I have other quirks—such as the fact that I cannot use the bathroom if he, or anybody else, for that matter, is in there, or in the next stall, or outside the door…you get the picture. I’m sorry…but I require privacy. I don’t care if we have been married fourteen years. I’m delicate that way.


Or how about this compulsion I have to slather myself with body butter…sometimes “stinky,” according to Duane, sometimes “uh. That smells good”…every night before heading off to bed. Body butter is awesome.

Does he like these things? Or can he, at the very least, live without them? (Would I change it if he didn’t like something, honestly? Probably not–not unless it was a very minor something.) The article made me a little curious, particularly as it also mentioned several quirks that men can’t stand about their significant others. Since they were of the “she can’t remember to leave the toilet seat up” ilk, I’m taking them with a grain, but they did make me think.

Duane has his own little quirks…like the toilet paper roll that he just can’t quite manage to replace. (Endearing, for some odd reason. I guess I feel a little sorry that such a strong man hasn’t figured out those opposable thumbs.) He sings, loudly and with gusto, when he comes home from work—nothing in particular, just the remnants of whatever he was listening to when he pulled in the driveway. (Endearing. Hi, honey, I’m home.) He hates my cat. (Hmm. Jury’s still out.)

These little things were nothing we really knew about when we first got married…I think they’re the type of thing that everyone warns you about with the close of those first couple of “honeymoon” years. I wonder if we’ll still love each other’s quirks when we’ve been married thirty years? That was the plan when we started, and we seem to be picking up speed instead of slowing down, so I’ll venture to say we’re doing alright.  🙂

2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 5, 2009 11:08 am

    It is always amazing to me the things my husband and I can discover about each other after almost 17 years of marriage. Case in point: Since I was 16 I have worn a safety pin on my clothing. Every. Day. He just realized this a few months ago… I thought he already knew.

    Kind of fun.

  2. hintonrae permalink*
    May 5, 2009 9:33 pm

    That is too funny. I can’t believe he is just now noticing that.

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