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Mr. and Mrs. K

June 15, 2009

There’s this elderly couple in our Sunday School class that never fails to amaze me with their sterling example of devotion to one another. I’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. K.

As I sat in my chair before class began a couple of Sundays ago, quietly sipping my tea and watching people before class began (one of my favorite things), Mr.and Mrs. K caught my attention. They’re getting up there in years, and aren’t quite as spry as they no doubt used to be, but they always travel to the front of the room, to be as close as possible to the source of all the action. Mrs. K uses a walker, and when they reach their destination her husband carefully adjusts the chairs for her, pulling them to the side a bit to give her a little more room. Then, without her needing to say a word, he takes the walker after she eases herself into her seat, positions it in front of her, and efficiently moves its tray function into place on top. She now has a  sort of desk on which to place her Bible. Then and only then does he seat himself.

Mrs. K. is half turned, speaking to someone behind her, but her hand reaches out, blindly but confident in her positioning, and grasps his wrist. “Thank you, dear.”

Simple words. Simple tasks. They say so much, though.

This is a couple that does not take each other for granted.

This is a couple that cherishes, with obvious gratitude, each moment they are given in each other’s presence.

This is a couple that probably has cutesie pet nicknames for each other. I tried to come up with a cutesie pet nickname for Duane, once, but it didn’t stick. “Sugarpie” just didn’t quite register on the machismo meter.

I wonder what this couple was like in the early years of their marriage? Were they this attentive to one another? This patient and perservering? This thankful for and this thoughtful of? Wouldn’t that be amazing?

We get so wrapped up in ourselves–what we want and what we need, that often we fail to take note of (and put first) what our partner wants and needs. To me, that’s critical in any relationship–not that I’m a Guru of Anything–just someone who’s gotten it wrong often enough up to know what not to do. The key, though, is that both people in the relationship must be willing to sublimate self to the other. If both people in a relationship are doing this, you’re golden. If not, you’re just a doormat.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. June 16, 2009 3:52 pm

    I really, really love this. Elderly couples who still show some kind of affection toward one another are my favorite. And the expression of gratitude was so sweet. I need to be reminded more often that thinking of my spouse first is essential for happiness.

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