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My Kid Snorts Popcorn

July 15, 2009

I have decided that there is something wrong with my child. His drug of choice is popcorn.

 blood

We were driving home from the movies the other day when there arose from the third row seat a bloodcurdling scream. “Mommy! My nose! It’s bleeding!”

 The red light I was stopped at had just turned green and as I was first in queue I couldn’t really do much about it. I took the turn, hoping that the bleed wasn’t a fountain pumping all over my upholstery. Oh, and hoping that my child wasn’t losing valuable pints, of course. “Plug it up with something,” I told him, adding, “please don’t get blood all over my car. Use your shirt! Pinch! Hold your head back! Don’t breathe heavy!”

 Autumn, in the second row, was very helpful. “It’s really coming out, Mom. Ick.” And then a second later, “Let me see, Lawson.”

 I tried to watch the road and remember to signal as I pulled into the first gas station along the way, but those things get a little blurry with a child in the background, caterwauling as if he’s in mortal agony.

 Once stopped, I turned around in my seat. “Okay, is it still gushing?”

 Lawson sniffled a little. “Nooooo. I think it’s stopped mostly.” He pulled a bid wad of tissues that he had found somewhere away from his face to investigate. His expression brightened. “Yeah, I think it’s stopped.”

 “Well, why did it start bleeding?”

 Lawson looked at me blankly. “What do you mean?”

 “I mean, why did your nose start bleeding?” (It’s funny how the apparent re-phrasing of a question makes all the difference in the world to its comprehension.)

 “Oh. A piece of popcorn went up it.” Autumn giggled. It was my turn to be stupefied.

 “A piece of…explain, please.”

 “Well, you see…we were eating the popcorn at the movies and Autumn tipped the popcorn up and I tipped it up like her, except the popcorn didn’t go in my mouth, it went up my nose.” Giggle, giggle.

 “I see.” I twisted back in my seat, visions of marbles and other nose-defying objects dancing in my head. “Is the popcorn still in your nose?” There was a long pause, during which I looked back in the rearview mirror to see Lawson looking thoughtfully at his wad of tissues.

 “Nope. It’s out.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Yep. I’m sure.”

 “Positive? Because you know what will happen if you leave that piece of popcorn up your nose?”

 “What?”

 “According to Daddy, a cornstalk will grow out through your nose.”

 There was another long pause. Then he laughed, and if his laughter was a bit uncertain, we’ll just keep that between us. “No, it won’t. But it’s out. I’m sure.”

 “Okay. Well, in that case, let’s get the camera.”

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. July 16, 2009 7:03 pm

    OH my gosh! TOO funny and true to life!!! LOVE the way you tell us how it went. I get gripped into the ‘story’ and always love how you end it!

    On a personal note, several weeks ago my grand daughter shoved an uncertain amount of pieces of rice up her nose and ‘sneezed’ on her daddy (my son) – on purpose. He’s grossed out by things that come out of noses, and from what I can tell, it was quite the family fiasco… wish I was there to witness it! LOL!

  2. Shirley permalink
    July 17, 2009 2:32 pm

    Um when Jessica was oh 2 ish she had a popcorn kernel stuck in her ear and they had to dig it out at the ear nose and throat doctor with everyone in the office holding her down……..ahhh memories…..lol

  3. Lesley Thompson permalink
    July 18, 2009 7:44 am

    You told this story with such animation that I feel as I were there witnessing this as well! I can invision Lawson throughout this and the conversation. This is so cute. What can I say! That’s our Lawson!!

  4. July 19, 2009 7:49 pm

    I love that I’m not the only one that finds every opportunity to turn an experience into a picture or, ultimately, a blog post. The more I read about Lawson the more I’m sure he and my Princess need to hook up at some point…

  5. July 21, 2009 2:17 pm

    So, he’s not up for adoption?

  6. hintonrae permalink*
    July 23, 2009 2:28 pm

    Cee–thanks, and the rice story is too funny. I can see that happening in our house, too.

    Shirley–HA! That actually sounds more like Josh!

    Mom–unfortunately, you know this is NOT an exaggeration 😉

    Gerb–Are we the strange ones or the sane ones? And I agree…

    And T4…I think I’ll keep him for a while…he makes me smile. 😉

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