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Shuddup Shelley ;)

July 22, 2009

I had supper out with my pal Shelley the other night, and all of a sudden, in the middle of hot buttered rolls and salad, she went into this rant about Pregnant Friends on Facebook. About halfway through I had to stop her. “Shelley,” I said, “I’m warning you. This is showing up on my blog. You’re a hoot.”

 

So here it is…a little different of course, because I didn’t have my tape recorder in my back pocket (dang it)…but hopefully I’ve kept it true to theme and tone.

 

Shelley:        I am getting SO tired of all of these freaking pregnant women on Facebook. I have around twelve pregnant friends and if I have to see one more belly or EPT I swear I am going to flip. I mean honestly, is it really that exciting? It’s a belly! And it’s been a week since you measured it! IT DIDN’T GROW THAT MUCH! And your EPT?!! Why are you taking a picture of your PEE STICK?!! It’s a flipping PEE STICK!

 

Me:              (laughing helplessly…no words)

 

Shelley:        I mean…is this NORMAL? Are you SUPPOSED to measure and take a picture of your belly every five days? And post it for the whole world to ooh and aah over? Cause I am not going to do that when I get pregnant. And I’m thinking I might be ready to go ahead and get pregnant now. What do you think about that?

 

Me:              (still laughing) Well, umm…a lot of women do take pictures of their bellies. I think I took pictures of mine with Autumn around every month…or at least until my belly button popped out, and then I was just kind of grossed out, you know? A popped out belly button is not cute, I don’t care what anyone says. I didn’t really do it with Lawson. Of course, I looked like I was three months pregnant with him at six weeks, so who would want pictures of that whale’s progress?

 

And as for you getting pregnant…I’d be willing to lay money that you start posting some belly pictures of your own the minute you find out you’re preggers.

 

Shelley:        NO! If I ever start doing that, or talking like these other pregnant women do…you know, all this “oh, my goodness, I’m so tired, I could just sleep for a week!” and “my back is killing me, all this extra weight!” and “you would just not believe the weird cravings I’m having…pickles and pineapple!”  please tell me to SHUT UP!

 

Me:              Oh, don’t worry, I will. You will receive a Facebook wall post: SHUT UP, SHELLEY. Under every belly pic, there will be an “oh, so cute, big momma! comment, followed by a ‘shuddup!’

 

So, here’s to you, Shelley. May you possess a grace and dignity in pregnancy that Facebook has stripped from the multitudes.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. hintonrae permalink*
    July 22, 2009 9:44 pm

    from Shelley on FB : Ok, so that was the blog I have been waiting for!!!!! Maybe not exactly word for word, but you got the jest of it. I LOVED IT! Hehe, that was pretty funny (I think?) or were you just making fun of me? Love ya, can’t wait to see you!

    (ME: of course I’m not making fun of you, S…I’m laughing WITH you, not AT you…;)

  2. July 23, 2009 10:52 am

    I have never posted my pee stick OR a sideways view of my pregnancy fatness- on Facebook or otherwise. And I agree wholeheartedly that the popped out belly button is NOT cute. And that your friend Shelley is funny.

  3. July 29, 2009 5:02 pm

    TOO cute!

  4. hintonrae permalink*
    July 30, 2009 9:31 pm

    Gerb–I’ve never felt the impulse to show my pee stick or popped out belly button, either. In fact, that was one of the maternity clothes’ tests–if you could see the belly button, it was a no-go.

    And Shelley’s a riot. LOVE that girl.

    Cee–thanks! 😉

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