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The Dread Swine Flu

October 26, 2009

bastard

This pretty much says it all.

Picture me armed with a can of Lysol in one hand, a Clorox wipe in the other, swiping the swine flu germs as quickly as they land as my husband hacks and hocks and blows and sneezes and makes all sorts of other obnoxious nasty sounds. I don’t know exactly what it is about a man…or about my man, in particular…my seven year old son has no problem with sneezing into his sleeve or a tissue, but Duane seems to take great pleasure with sneezing to the four corners of whatever room he happens to be in. “Can’t you…?” I start to nag. “I’m just too weak…” he responds, without taking his eyes off of whatever Outdoor Channel show he happens to be watching at the time.

He’s also too weak to lift the toilet seat right now.  It’s very disturbing.

So, while I’m not typically a germaphobe, I am literally walking around with a can of Lysol in one hand and a Clorox wipe in the other. I am not risking bare hand contact with anything, because this junk is gross, and I’ll let Duane suffer manfully for the family. He’s working on day 4, and although thus far I have managed to keep the rest of us inured against it, it’s kind of a pain in the butt. (I’m sure you can tell that I am a real Florence Nightingale kind of wife.) The kids are staying over at Duane’s parents’ house, which kind of stinks, since we had only seen them for a day in between our San Antonio trip and Duane getting sick, and the couch is my new bed.

That’s okay, though. I’ll take a week of the couch over a week of the swine flu.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2009 5:57 pm

    I’m with you…it sucks you’re sick but dammit! You’re getting on my nerves.

  2. October 26, 2009 9:47 pm

    That reminds me of a clip Jason posted a while back…

  3. hintonrae permalink*
    October 27, 2009 9:26 pm

    Jessica, you said it. I was (sort of) trying to be nice, but that’s pretty much It.

    And Gerb…I can’t.stop.laughing. I can’t wait until Duane is feeling better to show this to him…”For God’s sake woman, he’s got a Man Cold!” You’ve made my day.

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