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Crime and Punishment, Lawson Style

March 18, 2010
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Lawson pulled a fast one on us the other day. After getting in trouble with his teacher for various mis-behaviors, he failed to bring us the note informing us of his mis-behavior. Mrs. Wiley called Duane to check up on the status of the note this afternoon.

“At first he said he lost it, but when I pressed him, he admitted that he had hid it underneath his bed,” she told him.

We decided to wait him out for most of the afternoon and evening to see whether or not he’d produce the note on his own. He seemed remarkably loathe to do this.

I nudged him a little. “Are you sure you don’t have any homework, Lawson? Or anything I need to take a look at?”

“Nope.”  And off he ran.

A few minutes later, though, Lawson shuffled back into the den, shamefacedly clutching a small slip of paper in both hands. Although I knew what it said, I made a pretense of taking the note and reading it carefully. To my surprise and amusement, Lawson had attempted to “sign” my name in printed block letters: “L. White.” (Am I a terrible mother to be amused by my first grader’s fumbling attempt to forge my signature?)

“Lawson,” I asked, “the date on this note was yesterday, not today. And you tried to sign my name! Why didn’t you bring this to me yesterday?”

That was pretty much all it took—Lawson breaks easily. He burst into noisy wails. “Because I didn’t want you to give me a spanking,” he sobbed. This was kind of funny to me, because honestly I can’t remember the last time the child was spanked—maybe a little swat on the booty when he was three. I didn’t think I was that intimidating.

I gave him the requisite lecture, which was markedly brief because I was struggling with laughter, and sent him to his room. “Wait until your father gets home!” This set off more wails.

“But I don’t want Daddy to spank me, either!”

My husband, in his infinite wisdom, gave Lawson the stern lecture that I hadn’t handled very well, and decided to allow Lawson to choose his punishment. It would either be the spanking, or the loss of his favored privileges, including television, video games, and his bow and bb gun, for a week.

Lawson chose to lose his privileges.

We also had him write a letter of apology to Mrs. Wiley. This is what he brought me a few minutes later:

“Dear Mrs. Wiley, I am sorry that I lide to you and that I hid the note from my parents. I hope you forgev me. Can you cepe a secorit? I can not swim. I can ownly dogy patle. I am sorry. Sumday I will bake cuckys for you and the class. Have a good sumer and a great weekend.

Your friend Lawson.”

To further atone for his wrongdoing, our little suck-up held true to his word and asked Grandma Anne to make “cuckys” a day or so later, and carried those with him to class.

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. March 18, 2010 9:58 pm

    Aw. That’s so sweet. But I guess we know where his priorities lie. And they aren’t with the spanking. 😉

  2. March 18, 2010 11:01 pm

    I probably would have been laughing, too. Good thing your husband was there to save the day…

  3. Anaise permalink
    March 19, 2010 7:11 am

    I don’t have one kid that easy to “crack.” He is so tender–I love Lawson-misbehavior-repentance stories. I think he’s a little angel on earth . . . and that note? to die for!

  4. March 19, 2010 11:06 am

    HA! LOL! Oh Lori! I’d have been biting holes in the insides of my cheeks. Holy cow. Ya know. It’s a dang good thing we have husbands. I’ve sent The Native’s many a time to their rooms while I pass out laughing in mine. I really have no self control. The Native’s are going to grow up delinquents because of me.

    Funny he had grandma make the cuckys.

  5. March 19, 2010 11:33 am

    Honestly, Lori – shouldn’t Lawson himself be enough reason to have a gazillion more babies? I love that kid. And you can let him in on a little secret of mine, too: like him, I can ownly dogy patle.

  6. March 19, 2010 8:13 pm

    Lori, I love this. Your Lawson is such a character. Everyone else eluded to anything witty I had to say, but I wanted you to know how much I enjoyed this post and to tell you thanks for sharing!

  7. March 19, 2010 10:26 pm

    That kid of yours is adorable! 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing this great story.

  8. Lori permalink*
    March 20, 2010 2:43 pm

    Michele–I’m amazed, considering the last time he got in trouble and was punished with the “removal of privileges” that he chose it over a spanking. It was TORTURE…for all of us!

    Jason–seriously. I don’t know how he manages without busting up.

    Anaise–he really is very tender-hearted, for all that he’s all BOY. I love to see that characteristic in him–I think it’s going to make him a good man.

    Rachel–if their fate rested solely in my hands, my kids would be delinquents too. And about the cuckys…what in the world was that all about? I kept wondering. As if I don’t make cookies!! I guess Grandma’s are better than mine…

    Gerb–believe me, I have tried that argument–it’s by far the best one yet. I guess the flipside is that “opening act” argument…who wants to try to follow that?

    Natalie–thank you. I love that you loved it. 🙂

    Corine–thanks for reading! I’ll share as long as yall do… 🙂

  9. March 20, 2010 7:25 pm

    That is such a cute story! Growing up, we were always afraid of the ‘wait for your dad to get home’ since that meant we were in really bad trouble. Though we were pick the spanking over the week long things any day. Spankings were done and over in a few minutes, the week long ones lasted way too long. As for signing our parents’ names, dad had a rubber stamp of his signature. We just used that.
    None of my sons ever tried to signed my name, that’s because they went to school where I worked. They knew that their teachers talked to me on a regular basis!

  10. March 22, 2010 7:58 pm

    I have to tell you I read this one to my hubby the other night when it first came out. Well, laughed it to him, really! This so reminds me of when our two sons were growing up.

    TOO precious!

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