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On Folding Fitted Sheets

April 6, 2010

I almost posted a video post today about laundry. I remembered this post I watched on Linn’s blog about how to fold a fitted sheet into a perfect square. I was in the process of haphazardly folding a fitted sheet that had been in the basket for…oh, I don’t know…three or four days, into a not-so-perfect square, and I found myself composing a post in my head.

This is how the individual who really doesn’t give a flying flip folds a fitted sheet:

First, lay sheet on the floor. Don’t worry about whether or not the floor is clean. Five minute rule—it’s not a cookie, after all. Bring the ends together and do your best to align the pockets, but don’t worry if they don’t match perfectly. Once the sheet has been washed a few dozen times, that’s never going to happen again anyway. Next, and here’s the hard part, bring the short sides together. Again, try to align the corners.

What, you ask, why is my sheet all wrinkled? I told you—it sat in the laundry basket for the better part of a week. Don’t give me that look. I had homework. And stuff. I was busy. So why don’t I iron it, you ask? Iron my sheets? Have you lost it? The sheet is folded, and then goes on a shelf in the closet. It then goes on my bed, under a quilt. Why would I iron it? I’m not that dedicated to the principles of Martha Stewart Living.

Sorry.

So I did all that, and I thought about getting out the video camera, and actually videoing myself going through that haphazard folding job, because I’m sure some would find it pretty entertaining to watch me crawl all over my floor, matching corner upon corner of my ten years-old sheet, clad in my equally ancient Life Is Good flannel pjs…but then I decided…nah. I’m only a glutton for so much punishment.

It’s enough that you know I don’t make perfect squares…you don’t need video proof.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. April 6, 2010 2:13 pm

    You are my kind of woman, Lori. I just barely changed out of my pajamas a few minutes ago, and only because I have to take my eldest boy to an appointment. Snow or no snow, it is MY spring break and I’ll wear my pajamas all day, thankyouverymuch!

    I remember watching that video on Linn’s blog as well, and being completely fascinated and excited to try it the next time I needed to fold a fitted sheet. But I just make sure it looks like some semblance of a square in the end, and as long as it fits in my drawer I’m good with it.

  2. April 6, 2010 3:05 pm

    for me, folding sheets is like folding socks … I just keep asking myself, WHY? my kids refuse to use a flat sheet (unless it’s cold, then we pull out the flannel), and my the time I stretch a fitted sheet across the mattress, the wrinkles are gone.

    well. sorta.

    then, as I am ready to toss wadded up sheets into my linen closet, I remember the answer to the question …

    because my OCD makes me do it.

    thankfully my OCD does not force me into ironing sheets – I think I bad things would happen 🙂

  3. April 6, 2010 9:54 pm

    You brought back memories of my grandmother! She ironed her sheets every time! And she knew how to fold the fitted sheet perfectly. I don’t iron the sheets, who has time. But I do fold them in a not so pefect square, matching the corners and such. Like the others, I’ll blame it on my OCD….

  4. Anaise permalink
    April 7, 2010 7:37 am

    I can fold a fitted sheet into a flat, neat square of wonder.

    But who cares?

    It’s a sheet. I sleep on it. I don’t fold it up that neatly. 🙂

  5. April 7, 2010 4:35 pm

    ha! my sheets are lucky to get in the wash. well, not mine…the kids…mine never ever get folded because they go from my bed to the washer to the dryer and back onto my bed. i am against ironing anything, so that doesn’t help. i will have to go see linn’s blog just so i know it can be done. the impossible can become possible. if you are awesome. 🙂

  6. April 7, 2010 4:42 pm

    5 minutes and 52 seconds of jaw dropping amazement. oh.my.heck. i had no idea. my linen closet is the most offensive place in my house! shoot!

  7. Lori permalink*
    April 7, 2010 4:42 pm

    Gerb–I had ya beat. It was 5:30 when I read your comment, and I was still in my flannels. HA! And I was so excited when I saw that video (although the little cartoon bubble over my head was saying “why?”) and I did try, really, really hard the next time I washed sheets. I was a dismal failure. Terrible.

    Diane: A) why indeed? B) my son refuses to use a flat sheet either, and I don’t get it. Even though blankets are nice, it just doesn’t feel like bedtime without sheets. And C) I can’t just wad them up, either. They have to be in some semblance of a square. It’s far from perfect, though.;)

    Bonnie: grandmothers are so awesome. I’m going to try harder to match corners…tuck them, and such.

    Anaise: I am so jealous. And so relieved that you actually don’t. 😉

  8. Lori permalink*
    April 7, 2010 6:50 pm

    Misty–my kids are so sweet and dirt-less their sheets don’t need regular washing…that’s my excuse, anyway… hehhehheh…

  9. April 10, 2010 10:15 am

    You post that video and I’ll post one of how I fold them. I pull them out of said laundry basket as you said. Who knows how long my sheets have sat in it…….I take them and with my hands roll the thing up in a big ball………throw it in the linen closet and close the door really fast before it comes flying out at me along with all of the other fitted sheets I’ve thrown in there.

    That way, when someone else opens the door and they fall out you can say, “Pick that up! Don’t just throw it on the shelf in such a mess! You fold that up nice!”

    Now towels is another story. I can fold those………..

  10. Lori permalink*
    April 18, 2010 2:07 pm

    You crack me up. That’s all. You just make me smile. 😉

  11. April 18, 2010 4:07 pm

    When I was first married I was going to do everything like Martha Stewart. Now 14 years later, Martha Stewart can kiss my big, fat….toe. I’m still OCD about some things- sheets just aren’t one of them.
    Thanks for the step by step demo! Finally, one I think I can follow!

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