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Twinkle, Twinkle

May 6, 2010
tags: ,

Yesterday Lawson and I were sharing a meal while waiting for Autumn to finish up with tumbling practice. Lawson was quiet for a few minutes, stuffing his mouth with pizza.

Then, thoughtfully, he asked, “How old do you have to be before having a baby?”

A little wary of where this was headed, I said “well…you have to be older than seven.” Lawson gave me a “duh” look.

“I know that. But how old?”

“It depends…probably the best time is in your twenties.”

“How old is Zach?” (Zach boards in my brother-in-law’s home with his wife, Beth, and their new baby.)

“Umm…not real sure. Probably twenty or so.”

“Well, what about Beth?”

“She’s probably around twenty, too.”

“Okay.” He chewed on this for a few minutes while I waited for whatever would come next. His wheels were turning.

“When did you have Autumn?” he finally asked.

“When I was twenty-three, almost twenty-four,” I answered.

“What about me?”

I thought for a second. “I was twenty-seven when you were born.”

He pondered this for a moment. “So I was twenty-seven when I was born.” Dimly, I heard the sound of screeching brakes in my mind.

“Huh?” Lawson beamed, proud of his conclusion. “No, honey, you were, like, zero when you were born. You hadn’t lived for twenty-seven years.”

“Sure I did,” he said. “In your body.”

I chewed a bite of food carefully. Hmm. On the one hand, I could explain that he hadn’t lived in my body until around thirty-six weeks prior to birth. That he was not even a twinkle in Daddy’s eye. That, knowing Lawson and his tendency to follow a string to its source, would no doubt involve the sticky issue of conception. On the other, I could allow him to languish in ignorant bliss until he was older. Much older.

“Sure, okay. That works,” I told him. “Now eat.”

6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 6, 2010 1:05 pm

    nice save!

  2. diane permalink
    May 6, 2010 1:23 pm

    that is hilarious! but what I think is more funny, is one day this topic will somehow be brought up again, most likely in his confidence in knowing this little tidbit of information, and THAT will be priceless!

  3. May 6, 2010 7:47 pm

    Diane is right, he will remember this chat and his friends will get into a conversation about it and he will be beaming when he tells what he knows.

  4. May 6, 2010 10:32 pm

    Wow, sounds like something out of Alien…

    Can I just tell you again how much Lawson makes me laugh?

  5. Anaise permalink
    May 7, 2010 6:38 am

    Ignorant bliss is a great state of being for a 7 year old. My 8 year old is asking all the “right” questions . . . she’s about ready for the talk. If only we had some boys–I could say it was Daddy’s turn!

  6. Lori permalink*
    May 8, 2010 8:46 am

    Misty–I try, girlfriend.

    Diane–you are so right, and it will be hysterical. I just wish I could be a fly on the wall when it occurs…

    Bonnie–maybe I’ll encourage a discussion about it with Daddy and try to videotape it…

    Jason–Alien! That’s perfect! I knew it reminded me of something. The stuff that goes through little boys’ minds. 🙂

    Anaise–I feel your pain. I took the wimpy way out with Autumn and gave her this kind of introductory book–The Care and Keeping of Girls–and she read that thing cover to cover. Every now and then, when she sees or hears something suggestive, she’ll get this little smirk on her face and roll her eyes at me.

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