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Hardy Har Har

May 26, 2010

I used to sit in fear of what would come out of Lawson’s mouth during the children’s sermon at church. He’s just that wide open. The best was the Sunday the guy giving the children’s sermon—I don’t recall who it was—held up a naked tree branch tied off with dollar bills. “Does anyone know what this is?” he asked. I started shaking my head, already anticipating the response. I have this fake pine tree, you see, that I decorate according to whatever season it might happen to be.

Sure enough, up went his hand. “Yes, Lawson?”

“My mom has one!” he said excitedly.

“A money tree?”

Lawson looked a little nonplussed. “Yeah, she’s got all sorts of stuff on it.”

“That’s a good daddy you’ve got there, Lawson.”

Needless to say, there was much laughter at my expense. Expense. Get it? Ha. Ha.

Lawson’s always good for a laugh. I think Autumn’s going to end up being good for a book someday—that’s (obviously) another story for another time. But Lawson is just all entertainment, all the time. He had me again today. We were eating supper at Macado’s while waiting for Autumn to finish tumbling and Duane to finish haying. He was looking thoughtfully out the window as we were waiting for the bill to arrive.

“Mom, this restaurant is on a kind of hill, isn’t it?”

I glanced out the window to verify that the ground did, indeed, slope downward. “Yup.”

“So that means if there was, like, a really strong man, he could just go around to the other side and push the restaurant over and it would just tip over down the hill.”

Umm. I looked at him blankly. I think I may have heard a few crickets, and maybe he did too, because after a moment he said, “Woman, it’s a yes or no question. Can I get an answer?” All with a very charming dimple.

I kid you not.

Minutes later in the car, after picking up Autumn, he continued in his comedic vein. “Hey, Mom. These subtraction flashcards say ‘pocket’ subtraction flashcards. That means I can carry them in my back pocket.”

I struggled with a smile. Nerd! “Buddy, if you want to carry your flashcards in your back pocket, I’m not going to tell you ‘no.’” Experience will take care of that the first five minutes of school, regrettably.

“I am not your buddy. I am your son”

“Oh. Well, excuse me. Son, if you want to carry your flashcards in your back pocket, I am not going to tell you ‘no.’”

“My name is not ‘Son.” It is Lawson.”

I give up.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. May 27, 2010 5:59 am

    Love that he called you ‘woman’ that’s something that one son still says to me. When he was little I would call him ‘boy’ in return and then comment about us now having the gender understood. He still calls me woman but now I have to call him man.

  2. Anaise permalink
    May 27, 2010 7:22 am

    Oh, that funny, funny boy!

    What a joy he is.

    I’ve giggled about that “Woman . . .” line for several hours now.

  3. May 27, 2010 8:00 am

    LOL!!!! Astonishing. Simply astonishing!!!!


    That boy really is going to be famous. He won’t be able to help it.

    “Woman”……oh….oh….oh….Brilliant! 🙂

  4. May 27, 2010 12:49 pm

    If Lawson were in Z’s class he’d call him Joey. 🙂

    What a funny boy!!

  5. May 29, 2010 12:52 pm

    haha, oh man i like that he called you woman, its amusing. Sounds like a hand full of fun.

  6. May 31, 2010 11:20 pm

    Rachel, I’d take Joey…er, Lawson, in a heartbeat.

    He reminds me of a cross between Bill Cosby and Fozzie Bear…

  7. June 1, 2010 8:01 pm

    As I said…………. 🙂

  8. June 5, 2010 7:14 pm

    Lawson sounds a lot like my Mark (now 25) – especially the part where he talks up in church. When my Mark was growing up, I’d cringe when his hand would go up, because like you, it was at my expense too!

    Loved the expense joke, btw and wanted to write that this was an expensive post… bad joke, Cee, bad joke! So I didn’t ! 😉

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