“So, Lawson, how was your day? Were you a good boy today in Mrs. Green’s class?”
(a hesitation…then a little giggle) “Weeelllll…I was sort of….but I…well I…but I was a good boy…I did kind of mess up….”
Hmmm. Now, you have to understand Lawson’s sticker history to fully comprehend the impact this stuttering, giggly confession was having. We’d already received, as predicted, reports and confessions of misbehavior within the first two weeks of school. He can’t be still! He can’t shut up! Pencil pouches are really crash cars in disguise. Limits are really mythical boundaries meant to crossed in a single adventurous leap! I wanted to laugh already, anticipating some hysterical misadventure, but I knew I needed to give the appearance of sternness, because you simply do not give this Wide Open One any room for misinterpretation.
So I prompted him, in my best Mrs. Cosby voice (because you know she was the one that laid down the law) “Lawson, What-Did-You-Do?”
He hemmed and hawed for a few more minutes, shuffled the phone around, finally did a hand-off to Grandma. “I think I’ll let Grandma tell you.”
Grandma had a letter to read from Mrs. Green (this is the kindergarten teacher).
I let Duane handle that one–I was too busy cracking up. From the bathroom, I heard him asking Lawson if he felt the need to kiss someone why he couldn’t lay one on some cute girl, instead–after all, he’d probably still get in a little trouble, but not quite as much!
The pressure! Poor kid–according to Lawson, he was looking for something “funny” to do. I think he discovered it. And just to clarify–he didn’t really “get in trouble.” He just got a little talking-to about how you don’t go around locking lips with people. But I suppose the school wanted to alert us to potential proclivities as soon as possible…you think?